A fantastic, and extremely mature, perspective from one of the college athletes we mentor that many youth sports parents today need to hear.
 
“I work hard, and I put in the extra work but with a lot of players on our roster and the competition for playing time it isn’t always enough. In high school I could spend extra time and usually be better than others, at this level I’m realizing it isn’t always enough.”
 
That’s right, this kid works her BUTT off - puts in all of the extra reps, has put in the work to play every position on the field, and still isn’t starting. This is one of the hardest lessons for athletes to learn throughout their athletic experience. Working hard is the expectation at the college level (and should be at any level) but it doesn’t guarantee playing time.
 
At some point in most athletes' playing career they have to become more realistic, and that time is different for everyone. It might be competing for a high school starting spot,  looking at what college division they should be focused on, or what position their coach has them playing in travel ball.
 
I encourage parents to start having realistic conversations with our athletes about this, so they don’t have to face it on their own when it’s too late and start to feel like they aren't good enough. Why are these conversations important?
 
1) “She works too hard to not play x position” or “She’s worked too hard this off season to not get more playing time.” This is a dangerous game to play because eventually it turns into “I worked too hard on this project for my boss to pick my coworker’s idea over mine” or “I worked too hard to not deserve a promotion.”
 
2) Some athletes are just more naturally gifted at softball than others. I mean, my younger sister has more natural softball talent in her pinky finger than I had in my entire body. I had to work and scrape and claw for every small step to get better, whereas she just stepped on the field and did the dang thing.
 
3) Some athletes are just more physically gifted than others. A pitcher with crazy long fingers and big hands is going to (most likely) be able to spin the ball better than an athlete with small hands and short fingers. There is nothing that athlete can do about her physical limitations.
 
4) The athlete must know her support system supports her no matter what. Starting to have realistic conversations with athletes will open up other conversations about how they are not defined as a person by their athletic ability, playing time, etc. that they desperately need to hear!! 

“There are two types of “comfortable” when you are an athlete. One comes from confidence, the other comes from complacency. Confidence can endure adversity. Complacency crumbles form adversity.” - Rice Baseball Pitching Coach Colter Bostick 
 
 
I couldn’t have thought of a better message to describe the two ways an athlete can go AFTER they commit to their school of choice. We work and work and work for most of our high school lives to be offered a scholarship or a roster spot. What do we decide to do after you’ve earned it?
 
Those who make an active choice to continue to work just as hard after they commit as they did to earn that opportunity earn their confidence. Those who sit back, take their senior year “off”, and show up to fall season unprepared will feel confident, yet are complacent. As soon as they begin to face the adversity that
 
At the end of the day, committing to a school does not guarantee anything. It doesn’t guarantee playing time. It doesn’t guarantee that your new coaches won’t ask you to change how you do things. It doesn’t even guarantee that you’ll be welcome to be part of that team for more than one year. (Did you know that scholarships are renewed on a year-to-year basis? If you’re not holding up your end of the bargain your coach can pull it?)
 
It does not matter how much you prepare to step foot on campus as a freshman, you’re still going to struggle. You’re (probably) away from home for the first time with all new teammates and expectations from your coaching staff for the first time. That’s a whole lot of new in a very small span of time!
 
“Under pressure you don’t rise to the occasion, you sink to the level of your training.”
- Anonymous Navy Seal
 
We can “want to” all we want. You can want to start. You can want to perform well. You can want to be the best player at practice the first day in the fall. Want to is great, but anyone can want something. Anyone can want to be a starting collegiate softball player, but what makes the few who actually are different? It’s the work that they put behind the “want to.”