​

It's no secret I hate August with a passion. It is my absolute LEAST favorite time of year and I try to stay out of the tryout crazy as much as possible. As you're evaluating your current team and deciding if it's time to make a change, here are a few things to look for in a team IF you're in high school and looking to play in college: 

1) Look at their record - If they're boasting some crazy winning percentage or win streak they probably aren't playing the right level of competition and are trophy chasing. College coaches look at the level of tournaments you're playing - winning every weekend might be fun, but it's not preparing you for the next level! 

2) Who is training and coaching athletes on a day to day basis? In today's travel softball world it is ridiculously easy to throw a big name on the front of your jersey and say the right things. It doesn't matter who the overall head of your organization is in another state or how many athletes they send to college because at the end of the day college coaches use their connections. If the coach of YOUR team doesn't have them, it's going to hurt you. (I know some great people who coach teams under big name orgs who have built their own reputations, but there are just as many out there riding on coat tails of  big name orgs) 

3) Find out what fields they play on - Most teams share what showcase tournaments they are attending (which might look great on paper) but what fields are they playing on? Playing in a showcase an hour from the top complex with no college coaches isn't showcasing. 

4) What message do they sent to their athletes? Are they selling DI dreams to every athlete on the team? (Which is almost statistically impossible unless you're on one of the top 10 teams in the country.) Are they as focused on an academic future and life after college as they are on what level and where you play at? What do their athletes talk about at tryouts? 

5) Do they struggle to keep athletes on their roster? Are the constantly looking for pick up players? Talk to former team members and parents, what was their experience? Talk to current players and parents at try outs, what do they like/dislike about the program? 

6) Are the coaches realistic? Are they asking you to spend thousand to travel the country when in reality that's not in the best interest of their athletes? A family recently reached out to me for help and sent this about an experience they had with a team. 

"The majority of the girls on that team are 2023's. In the fall, all were talking about D1 schools. Now, the best 2 girls on the team have small D1 offers and all the rest are pivoting to D2 and D3 schools. That's a lot of money spent by these families on camps and tournaments chasing a D1 dream."

A fantastic, and extremely mature, perspective from one of the college athletes we mentor that many youth sports parents today need to hear.
 
“I work hard, and I put in the extra work but with a lot of players on our roster and the competition for playing time it isn’t always enough. In high school I could spend extra time and usually be better than others, at this level I’m realizing it isn’t always enough.”
 
That’s right, this kid works her BUTT off - puts in all of the extra reps, has put in the work to play every position on the field, and still isn’t starting. This is one of the hardest lessons for athletes to learn throughout their athletic experience. Working hard is the expectation at the college level (and should be at any level) but it doesn’t guarantee playing time.
 
At some point in most athletes' playing career they have to become more realistic, and that time is different for everyone. It might be competing for a high school starting spot,  looking at what college division they should be focused on, or what position their coach has them playing in travel ball.
 
I encourage parents to start having realistic conversations with our athletes about this, so they don’t have to face it on their own when it’s too late and start to feel like they aren't good enough. Why are these conversations important?
 
1) “She works too hard to not play x position” or “She’s worked too hard this off season to not get more playing time.” This is a dangerous game to play because eventually it turns into “I worked too hard on this project for my boss to pick my coworker’s idea over mine” or “I worked too hard to not deserve a promotion.”
 
2) Some athletes are just more naturally gifted at softball than others. I mean, my younger sister has more natural softball talent in her pinky finger than I had in my entire body. I had to work and scrape and claw for every small step to get better, whereas she just stepped on the field and did the dang thing.
 
3) Some athletes are just more physically gifted than others. A pitcher with crazy long fingers and big hands is going to (most likely) be able to spin the ball better than an athlete with small hands and short fingers. There is nothing that athlete can do about her physical limitations.
 
4) The athlete must know her support system supports her no matter what. Starting to have realistic conversations with athletes will open up other conversations about how they are not defined as a person by their athletic ability, playing time, etc. that they desperately need to hear!! 

“There are two types of “comfortable” when you are an athlete. One comes from confidence, the other comes from complacency. Confidence can endure adversity. Complacency crumbles form adversity.” - Rice Baseball Pitching Coach Colter Bostick 
 
 
I couldn’t have thought of a better message to describe the two ways an athlete can go AFTER they commit to their school of choice. We work and work and work for most of our high school lives to be offered a scholarship or a roster spot. What do we decide to do after you’ve earned it?
 
Those who make an active choice to continue to work just as hard after they commit as they did to earn that opportunity earn their confidence. Those who sit back, take their senior year “off”, and show up to fall season unprepared will feel confident, yet are complacent. As soon as they begin to face the adversity that
 
At the end of the day, committing to a school does not guarantee anything. It doesn’t guarantee playing time. It doesn’t guarantee that your new coaches won’t ask you to change how you do things. It doesn’t even guarantee that you’ll be welcome to be part of that team for more than one year. (Did you know that scholarships are renewed on a year-to-year basis? If you’re not holding up your end of the bargain your coach can pull it?)
 
It does not matter how much you prepare to step foot on campus as a freshman, you’re still going to struggle. You’re (probably) away from home for the first time with all new teammates and expectations from your coaching staff for the first time. That’s a whole lot of new in a very small span of time!
 
“Under pressure you don’t rise to the occasion, you sink to the level of your training.”
- Anonymous Navy Seal
 
We can “want to” all we want. You can want to start. You can want to perform well. You can want to be the best player at practice the first day in the fall. Want to is great, but anyone can want something. Anyone can want to be a starting collegiate softball player, but what makes the few who actually are different? It’s the work that they put behind the “want to.”

 Reasons your athlete needs to be playing high school softball…even if they don’t want to be.
 
1. Creating an every game matters mentality - the high school play off structure is similar to the college one. Every game matters throughout your season and builds upon the previous one to get your team to play offs. The three days to win a championship and have another opportunity to win another one next weekend just doesn’t provide the same experience.
 
2. You don’t get to choose your high school coach like you do your travel ball coach. You must find a way to overcome adversity with a coach you don’t “like” or always agree with their philosophies. Do you check out and just count the days to the end of the season or do you make the best of it and control your controllables? You might not agree with your college coach or your college teammates someday, learning how to adapt to different philosophies NOW will help you in the future!
 
3. It might not be a team of super stars. How do you respond to playing with athletes who may not be as talented as you are? Are you a leader and step up to help them or do you just show up and do your job and leave?
 
4. Representing your community with athletes growing up in the same community is something you only get to do once. Your team being in the local paper. Being cheered on by community members you might not necessarily know but are alumni of your program. Games being attended by younger athletes who will wear your jersey someday.
 
5. If the life lessons your athlete will learn aren’t enough for you to encourage them to play high school softball it will make them more likely to play at the next level. Right, wrong, or otherwise a college coach is less likely to look at an athlete who doesn’t play high school softball. They want to see you overcome a tough situation, be a good teammate in tough moments, and know that you won’t quit when the going gets tough.

"Kids have changed."
"Parents aren't holding kids accountable."
"This generation quits too easily, expects things handed to them, can't handle failure, etc."

Rather than be part of the problem, we choose to be part of the solution - sometimes the best thing we can do is give them a task and see how they work through it and what they do when they "fail."




​We asked this 11 year old pitcher to throw 3 batters and track everything about the results of those 3 batters. In 3 batters she went from a 4 pitch walk to a 3-2 walk to a strike out. With very little instruction outside of "What's your plan for the next batter?" she started to work through her own mechanics, mindset, and adjustments.

Just like we have to learn mechanics, we have to learn mindset! We don't just suddenly one day learn how to overcome a struggle. Asking an athlete "What's your plan?" gives them an open ended opportunity to figure out what works for THEM rather than giving them the info I think they need as their pitching coach! ​

I attended 2 showcase tournaments (TNT & East Coast) with 11 fields that have an average distance between them of 20 minutes this past weekend. 235 teams with an average of 12 players per team gives you about 2,820 players participating in an average of 5 games this past weekend… 
 
…and yet players still choose to not make time to send emails to coaches, and I specifically use the word choose. My mom has a saying - that we choose to make time for things that are important to us, no matter the circumstances. You can tell a lot about a person’s priorities based on what they choose to make time for. It's also frustrating to see families spend thousands of dollars on travel ball, training, hotels, etc. to get nothing out of it when they don't communicate with coaches when needed. 
 
We had athletes in our mentoring program who did everything right to prepare for this past weekend – they sent emails at the correct time with all the correct information and yet still didn’t see one coach at their field. Unless you are on a main complex at a tournament, for every TEN coaches you email, you’ll be lucky to see ONE of them at your games. While this is a tough reality, if you choose to not send emails at all you’re relying on another player at your field. Hopefully they'll reach out to a coach that comes to see them play and then “finds” you. This isn't a system I suggest trusting your future with.
 
Coaches don’t take time away from their families, travel hours from home, and sit at fields from 7:50am to 8:00pm to window shop. They have a specific plan to see the athletes who have shown interest in their program and are going through the process the right way! What are you doing to set yourself up for success in a process that offers coaches THOUSANDS of athletes to choose from? 

1) How well do your athletes communicate with you?
2) How do they time manage?
3) How do they handle adversity?
4) What are their parents like?
 
These are the four most common questions I get from college coaches about the athletes we work with. If college coach is reaching out about one of our athletes to talk about them, they already know that they like what they do on the field. These are the answers that tell a coach whether an athlete will thrive for four years of college level expectations or not.
 
1) How well do your athletes communicate with you?
If an athlete consistently doesn’t respond to texts from someone helping them through the college planning process, why should college coaches expect them to change that behavior once they get to school? If they miss calls, meetings, and can’t accomplish tasks asked of them in a timely manner now, what says they’ll be able to do it later?
 
2) How do they time manage?
Generally, once you get to college you have three main things going on – softball, academics, and your social life. It’s almost impossible to be great at all three things when they each take up so much of your time. All the sacrifices you need to make in high school to focus on getting the offer and going to play college ball? Those sacrifices don’t go away in college – you’re still going to miss the parties, the weekend trips, etc. If your two main focuses are softball and a social life, you probably won’t make it in most college programs. (On another note - a lot of academic scholarships are only renewed each year if you have a certain GPA at the end of each year.)
 
3) How do they handle adversity?
Just because you get to play in college doesn’t mean you’re never going to lose a close game again, feel overwhelmed with balancing all aspects of your life,
 
4) What are their parents like?
If you google “college softball coach fired” the first three articles to pop up have the headlines:
“--- University softball coaches accused of misconduct, placed on administrative leave.”
“--- softball coach steps down after review of program”
“----- softball coaches facing Title IX allegations over improper relationship”
 
While there are some truly bad college coaches (just like there are bad HS and travel coaches) there are also players who are unhappy and spiteful that create situations they feel will benefit themselves. Coaches are putting their ability to feed their families in YOUR hands when they recruit you. This means they do their homework on your family and how you were raised as well. I had an interesting conversation with a coach last week about an athlete (not one of ours) where they said they would never recruit her because they heard rumors that her parents got their HS coach fired. Just the idea that a parent MAY have done this is enough for a coach to not want to take a chance on that athlete. The sad part is she is talented enough to play there, but never will because of how her parents conduct themselves. Coaches have to be able to trust the players and the families they are bringing into their program, just like the players and families have to be able to trust the coaches.

It's that time of year! As most college teams are taking their finals and packing their bags to head home, those who have clawed their way to the top are starting post season play! 

If you're a high school athlete looking to play in college, it's a great time to start watching softball with a purpose! While only DI games are broadcasted on tv (for the most part), DII, DIII, Junior College (All divisions, did you know there are three divisions in the NJCAA just like the NCAA?), and NAIA games are all streamed online. Check out the brackets to see what colleges are playing that you're interested in attending and start doing your research!