Do you stand out?

Coach Lewis,

​My name is --------- and I am attending the Headfirst Honor Roll Camp on 10/22-10/23. I am looking to study ------- and your softball program interests me as well. I have a ----- GPA and I have been playing softball for ten years. I play for ------ team, take hitting lessons from ---------, and play high school softball for ----------. I hope that you take a look at me this weekend, and I would love to hear from you. Thanks!
 
 
I spent the past weekend recruiting with Rhodes College Softball at the Headfirst Honor Roll Camp in DC. Leading up to the event I received about thirty emails exactly like the one you just read. After about 5 of the same email, they all start to blend together. Until I got this one. While it is somewhat silly and does not give me a lot of information about the player or her interest level in Rhodes, it caught my attention enough to want to meet her.  What little things can you do to stand out like this when there are thousands of softball players around the country doing the exact same things you are? 
 
Hi Coach Lewis,
 
My name is ----------, and I go to --------- High School. My plan is to study biology and wear wools socks to class while doing so. In --------- it is perpetually oven-temperature, so I am seeking a school like Rhodes where that is not always the case and my dream can become a reality. Knee-high socks are also fine by me, so long as they are accompanied by a bat and a glove. While said attire is being worn, I play left field and hit/slap on the left side.
      I will be at the Headfirst Honor Roll camp in DC this weekend, and I look forward to meeting you there. If you have any spots available for 2017's, please keep your eyes peeled for me. Even if you don't, I occasionally provide visual entertainment in the form of stellar dance moves and I'd love to talk to you all about it...or anything else possibly more relevant to your desired conversation for the scenario. See you this weekend!